It is normal to feel anger while you are going through a divorce. Anger is a step in the grieving process. Even if both parties agree it is in their best interest, they still grieve over the loss of the marriage they had expected to last forever. At Gaydos Duffer, P.C., we find that a collaborative divorce often dissipates the anger in divorce so the parties can go on with their new life.
Anger and the Grieving Process
Both parties may be grieving the end of the marriage and get stuck in the anger stage. Some reasons they may feel anger during the divorce process include:
- Anger over the loss of the life they dreamed would be theirs when they married.
- Anger over the loss of the person they expected to grow old with.
- Anger caused by infidelity.
- Concern about their financial future.
We work with our clients and help them jump over these “anger hurdles” so the process can move forward. The goal is to compromise, so we can reach a settlement, and they can let the anger go.
If our client is angry about something involving the divorce process, like perhaps a settlement offer, we can help diffuse that. We can find out what they do not like about the offer and what they want us to change. But, if the anger is directed to the spouse, there is not much we can do except to recommend counseling.
How a Collaborative Divorce Can Help
While in rare cases, a person may be too angry to participate in a collaborative divorce, often the mental health professional who participates in the process can help neutralize a lot of the anger. The anger may be coming from pain and insecurity.
The person is looking down the pipeline of their life with no concrete answers. They wonder how they will pay for their children’s piano lessons. What will Christmas look like? During the collaborative divorce, the mental health professional can talk to both parties and get to the heart of the anger. For example, the anger of a husband directed toward his wife asking for money may be lessened when he realizes she is asking for child support to be sure the kids can continue their life as it was before the divorce.
For more information about how a collaborative divorce can reduce your anger during the divorce process, or for help in beginning a collaborative divorce, contact us at Gaydos Duffer, P.C. You can reach us at (817) 548-5643.